Well here I am....

Things have been mad crazy with my disorder. New doctors, new counselors, and new medicines.....I feel a little better I still have rough days. But they are far in between- well except the funk I've been in. But I think that's just the holidays. Today is a day that I'd rather just stay in jammies and not go anywhere. But alas I have somewhere and something to do. No prob though! I'm sending a sign in sheet out to the park with +Gary Husband  and I'm staying home. I think I will start on a pouch for Bucket. All his pouches are tore up. So-I need to make more pouches for him. 

I have to get all my major projects I want done- done before the 7th of January. Classes start back and well thats going to be something. 

I am going to work on washing Bills puppies, then I have to come home and work on pouches for the boys. Then back to the grind of inputting the decks that work into my iPad.

I'm looking to get a ferret or two in January/February. But first I have to be able to block off my kitchen area. Those areas are severely non ferret proof-able. I know I have animals. But I've been wanting another ferret for a while now. My Bucket even agrees that a ferret would be fun. ;).....(bribed him with a mealie worm)

I also want to get Bucket some little tubes to see if he'd play in them. I wish he would play in those tubes like the hamsters get. I found a cage that is just under the minimum cage size for a glider-but first I need to find out if he'd even play in the tube...gliders are not burrowers but they do like pouches and such. If not then: mommy will just deck his cage out with new toys and pouches and perches just for him :) I wish I could get him a friend and they not fight. Its not good for them to be alone. But he's been alone all his life. So its stresses him to be with another glider. I know weird.

Our holidays haven't been that bad. We enjoyed our first Christmas of gifts for once lol. Now our poor tree has to be either burned or tossed by the road. 

lithium

i don't want to lock me up
i don't want to forget who i am
but the darkness has embraced me so

i want to let it go
where shall i find the light
lying here alone i cry
the emptiness within me

can you fill it

can you warm this coldness within me
am i mad
why does these voices tell me to run

why can i not fight
my sorrow overflows
tears trace the grown as i run
can i make it
will he find me

can i break free of me myself
can i defeat my worst enemy
will the demons inside me
be sated with the blood of my enemy
can i do it

to not exist
will the light burn
can i be held in the light
will there be a place for me
can i let this all go

break free of these chains
chains of woe, hate, anger
can his arms bring me solace

songbird

I once saw as an innocent song bird
needing to be released from her cage
Beauty, exotic something no one should possess
Untarnished was my view of you
my little songbird

But now your cage has been broken
your beauty became my undoing
through the world you soared
feathers growing dark

innocence no longer revels within you

habits of evil and dirty deeds
carcass from carcass you soar
soon i realize you were no songbird
you were a crow- a crow disguised
what to do i think

my beloved songbird
i let you go-yet threw a lovers glassy eyes
i watch wishing for the caged songbird of long ago

Crazy Month!...........and the rabbit trail begins

Ok It has been a while since I have posted. I know-I have had a lot of ups and down that have kept me on a roller coaster ride of emotions. Money issues: totally got me stressed. But there will be good news coming then bad news....that is how life goes.

Not much has been going on here at the house, I've been doing Avon. Its going. Not as well as I would like it to. But again I am just starting out. So again if you want to place an order go to my website.

We've adopted a new kitten as of Father's Day. His name is Thor. He was claimed by Lonnie's little boy Alex. But he isn't allowed to have him at his mom's house. So we decided..well I decided I would keep the kitten for him. We had Aneissya, Jasmine (Nessa's Jasmine), and Nessa's boyfriend Austin, plus Lonnie and his kids! IT was an awesome day. Lots of video games, food and lots of fun. 

We made a picture date with the girls for this weekend-

Wow that was a while back! Today I am beginning to find a bit of time for me! OMG I have been so overwhelmed. We have had 2 car accidents in the household: Everyone is fine. One car totaled-one car fixed. The white firebird still flys! YES!

Now update...lets see:

I've started working at Applebee's on St. Augustine. Its fun a little stressing at times but I love it.

We've started back Amtgard! Which is fun. It is a really good stress reliever for me at the end of the week.

Since I've started back with Amtgard, I've started back my sewing. SO I'm either gonna bring back my Sews Barefoot blog or just put it here with my rambles! I believe I will just do that! I have two projects done. I need to place them on the mannequins and get a pic of them to post.

This is me looking very unamused at Gary lol...This is my armor and one of my fighting get ups!

School is starting back soon. I am excited and jittery all at the same time. I'm like Yes I want to start back. Then its.....will I break down again?

That is what I am afraid of. I mean the Bi-polar aspect of my life isn't as bad as it use to be but the diagnoses of borderline personality disorder scares me. A lot of what I experience is due to that, not my bi polar and so far Talk is the only remedy. Yippee!....well I found also other remedy...whack people with stick...well foamed sticks! I mean...I go out and battle out with the opposing forces on the field........ :)

It helps lol.

But lately I've been quite moody. I am not really big into change, I hate change-they say change is good for you...me ha change is my kryptonite. But I am trying to do better. I'm not quite sure what I can do but I am working on it. I've been really grumpy. Maybe its because I did the one thing I shouldn't have done-DIVED head first into everything and didn't take anytime for myself. That is what Gary tells me.

Ah update on little Thor. He has a home. He now lives with Butch and Margaret. They love him and he loves to pester them! Perfect combination.

Well that is all for now. I need to finish cooking and take a nap then work on a tutorial video for wrap pants~!

Fun and Great Day

Today has been a busy day! But an enjoyable one! Jasmine and me both had our early appointments, then off to lunch together. Then to marketing Avon. I did a couple of things wrong. Found that out at my sales meeting tonight. But that's ok. I will fix that!

We went to Lakeland, found a cute shop! A to die for top! If its there next payday and I earn 20 bucks from Bill I'm gonna go get it! It is so sexy! Well, I was going to go to Hahira but then I looked at the time and wanted to get one of my other customers before she closed her shop. Plus I had a date to take Jasmine to see the spiders at Snake Pit.

Well she held a Rose Hair Tarantula-no screaming, no panicking she did well. I even held her of my own accord. We looked around and even talked of starting an aquarium at least a small one.

We went to Shirley's and dropped off her order. Browsed, I found a mask that I want! Its awesome! Its like 5.99 might work a deal out between business women via business woman. *Hmmm* :)

Jasmine got called in so eh? I went to my meeting! I was gonna go but she was just gonna be my plus 1 lol!

Tried some of the products today! Found I LOVE AVON PRODUCTS! The eye make remover is awesome! Its a lotion and it removes all makeup!

Me and Athena had to wait for the rain to pass before we could go on our walk. So it was later than we  planned. :( But we went! She loved it! All the new smells after the rain falls.

So here is my thoughts on being a new rep:

Wow, starting out as a new representative is pretty scary. Placing that first order-makes you wonder wow can I really do this? Then you get your order in-separate...they say its like Christmas. Hmmm...maybe after all the presents have been ripped apart and strewn all over. :)

I'm still delivering orders. I've only got two or three left. One is a family member who is bribing me into lunch, but I don't mind :). We've not seen each other in quite a long time. So it will be a great visit.

Now onto my first sales meeting. I was anxious, nervous, unsure-I mean I do not know these women who I should share some what of a bond with. But we open arms and many smiles I was welcomed in. I even met my over all manager, Betty Shaw. She is really great. Well, I can not forget the Avon Guy we had!

It was fun. I learned a lot from this meeting! I mean wow-I've had ideas but some of the things that was shared, I had no clue on! I mean who knew?

But I enjoyed it. I am glad that I went. I almost chickened out and stayed home. But now I have more of an idea of what to do. Now I must clean up my dining room from "Christmas" and get down to making out a plan. I have this! I will do this. There is no, "I can't!" I CAN AND I WILL!


Now for those who read, "If you are where I cannot deliver to you-we have .99$ shipping on ALL ORDERS! well except orders over $30 those have free shipping!"


So remember my shop!