Monday, March 19, 2012

Lost memories

THere are times when I find myself so alone. BUt I know I am not alone. I have those who love me around me. Some I wish would have a softer tone with me, or maybe one to have a more generous heart. BUt how can I ask this when my fault isn't being generous at all times.

I am completely lost. Things feel as they did before I saw a doctor. Now I am spiralling. No where to grab...no where to go.

NO beautiful children to call my own. Not of my own blood but I do have my beloved fuzzy children. Never will I here I love you or moma. I know they love me when they curl up to me and bring a comforting purrr from their little bodies. Those cats, Crybaby, Dusty and eve Pesti are my kids. They do not always understand. But they try to help in their own little ways.

I know this is an awful post to have since it is the first one since my last. I know all sunny and shining..now here is the storm clouds covering the moon.

I debate ending this semester-retaking classes in the Fall. But what would be of it? I know not. BUt maybe soon I will have a no or yes.