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A girl who doesn't mind being a nerd. I know things that most people my age would go HUH? why ya know that? and my answer is Boredom and the ability to read and research :) I love learning new things and meeting new people so if you don't mind books..I can be an open book on some subjects but others are rare finds so it takes time to get to those subjects.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Battling to lose weight

We all have a time when we step onto the scales and then realize omg I need to lose weight.  However mine wasn't just the scales. My doctor, Dr. Seth told me it was time for me to lose weight and get back on a more healthy diet. Things has been hard. I was 150 lbs. I lost to 145 where it plateaued for a few months.  I was on a medicine called Risperidone; this medicine caused me to want to eat ALL the time.  I discussed the weight I had gained with my psychiatrist and he was like be fat and happy or skinny and miserable.  I explained to him that I can't be fat and happy I have an injury that weight causes more pain with. So we changed my medicine which seems to have helped me lose some weight but still I am at an impasse.  On Dec. 26 I weighed 140 lbs! I had lost 5lbs! I was so excited, yet this isn't something to celebrate about quite yet. I have to keep off that 5 lbs plus lose 5 more lbs.
I saw my nutritionist today and he told me the diet changes I have made are good but my binge eating must stop! When you are manic depressed or bi polar sometimes eating is what makes you feel better. Well one of my comforts is eating-a very dangerous thing when you are trying to lose. Yesterday I did horrible on my eating and I know I did but I hope to do better.  Not many people know what I go through because I am afraid to talk about my condition-I fear I will lose so many people over it. I know a silly fear but when you go about every day of your life for so long stating you are normal and sane to only know that you fight to be normal when you aren't.
So my goal is to learn to talk about things more and to get back in shape.  I stopped so much-now it is time for me to take it back one step at a time. And one of the things is going to be my weight and health. Second is going to be me blogging again. I quit and I don't know why I quit but I did.  This use to be my outlet and then I guess I got lazy I'm not sure. But lets hope I can get back on track.
Classes start back on the 10th of January; so I will be busy busy but maybe I can find me time again and keep it!

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