Its been almost a year since I posted to this blog. At first I was going to delete it and begin a new one. But then I read some of my past post-and I realized its me. I shouldn't erase who I was just because I was in a dark place at the time. Life isn't an easy path for any of us to walk-but sometimes we have to realize we have to ask for help and accept that help when it is given to us. Its been a three years now since I lost some very special people-I tried to be the rock for everyone else to lean on and never did I accept truly they were gone. It felt as though I should have done more...more and more I thought this the darker I fell into my own mind. I lost who I was and was loosing those around me that was still here. I wasn't who I needed to be-I had turned my back on faith, on family-I was lost. It took a stupid mistake to make me realize I needed help-I needed that hand to help me backup onto my feet. I couldn't do it alone anymore. I had a mental disorder that hadn't been an issue until I became stressed beyond anything I've ever dealt with.
But that is neither here nor there-its been a rocky road but I have a support system of some of the greatest people. My beloved husband Gary, my best friends: Julie, Jasmine, Bill...they have seen me at my worst-my best and even those times I'm a crying mess because all I want to be is normal. I hate being who I am at times...then I realize they love me so why shouldn't I love me. There are many battles ahead of me but I have some of the greatest people on my side. I have my faith still-God has had many conversations with me.
Today has been a good and bad day all at the same time. I have my ups and downs but I am learning to adjust to them-Ah!
What am I saying....yeah I had a bit of a down moment but I had fun today. I played cards with my brother and my hubby. Eh they beat me a couple of times even though I got to knock Gary out twice ; ) Sorry babe! I did get ya. I managed to finish my Sociology assignment even though I found it quite annoying. I really don't understand my Sociology teacher-the man is really different. I even got started on my Anthropology response paper...fixed and awesome supper. We had spaghetti, salad and garlic bread for supper. I think everyone ate way too much lol...but that makes me feel good they enjoy themselves. We watched both of our shows tonight, Once Upon a Time and Grimm. Even though Gary slept through most of Grimm.
I think I finally decided to start back writing because of my niece Crissy. She finds time in her busy life even when there is tragedy in her life to write. I know it use to be therapeutic to me, so why not start back? So here it is. I know it may not be as colorful as Crissy's blog. But I think I can start blogging again..Bill I know you say don't put anything in writing but hey.....I can always go back to see where I was this time next year-maybe things will be better.