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A girl who doesn't mind being a nerd. I know things that most people my age would go HUH? why ya know that? and my answer is Boredom and the ability to read and research :) I love learning new things and meeting new people so if you don't mind books..I can be an open book on some subjects but others are rare finds so it takes time to get to those subjects.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

A long Journey

Its been almost a year since I posted to this blog. At first I was going to delete it and begin a new one. But then I read some of my past post-and I realized its me. I shouldn't erase who I was just because I was in a dark place at the time. Life isn't an easy path for any of us to walk-but sometimes we have to realize we have to ask for help and accept that help when it is given to us. Its been a three years now since I lost some very special people-I tried to be the rock for everyone else to lean on and never did I accept truly they were gone. It felt as though I should have done more...more and more I thought this the darker I fell into my own mind. I lost who I was and was loosing those around me that was still here. I wasn't who I needed to be-I had turned my back on faith, on family-I was lost. It took a stupid mistake to make me realize I needed help-I needed that hand to help me backup onto my feet. I couldn't do it alone anymore. I had a mental disorder that hadn't been an issue until I became stressed beyond anything I've ever dealt with.

But that is neither here nor there-its been a rocky road but I have a support system of some of the greatest people. My beloved husband Gary, my best friends: Julie, Jasmine, Bill...they have seen me at my worst-my best and even those times I'm a crying mess because all I want to be is normal. I hate being who I am at times...then I realize they love me so why shouldn't I love me. There are many battles ahead of me but I have some of the greatest people on my side. I have my faith still-God has had many conversations with me.

Today has been a good and bad day all at the same time. I have my ups and downs but I am learning to adjust to them-Ah!

What am I saying....yeah I had a bit of a down moment but I had fun today. I played cards with my brother and my hubby. Eh they beat me a couple of times even though I got to knock Gary out twice ; ) Sorry babe! I did get ya. I managed to finish my Sociology assignment even though I found it quite annoying. I really don't understand my Sociology teacher-the man is really different. I even got started on my Anthropology response paper...fixed and awesome supper. We had spaghetti, salad and garlic bread for supper. I think everyone ate way too much lol...but that makes me feel good they enjoy themselves. We watched both of our shows tonight, Once Upon a Time and Grimm. Even though Gary slept through most of Grimm.

I think I finally decided to start back writing because of my niece Crissy. She finds time in her busy life even when there is tragedy in her life to write. I know it use to be therapeutic to me, so why not start back? So here it is. I know it may not be as colorful as Crissy's blog. But I think I can start blogging again..Bill I know you say don't put anything in writing but hey.....I can always go back to see where I was this time next year-maybe things will be better.

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