Sewing

Well things are going well, I've been sewing like mad and about to go do so again here in a moment! I've not fell off the face of the earth just a bit busy and trying to move things in the right direction since my incident with the ultram ;( but I think i am going on the right path.

My life after ultram

Well things have been going well. Not many people know but well I am now on medicines to help slow me down a bit and help me concentrate. But it is all due to Ultram that has me where i am. I'm not as angry as I was.. i am actually a bit better off than I was. I am more alert, happy and well ME!

i am no longer lost as i felt before.. now I am learning who I am again :) which is a good thing.

hell

is it hell because i want you
or is it hell because i know
taht wanting you is such a sin

the heat warps my skin as i reach
grimacing yet wanting to feel that you are real
not an apparition sent here to haunt me so

what if i reach in an embraced you?
wrapping my body around yours
losing my soul-the payment for such pleasure

whoever thought that one fallen so
would crave something so
could you save me-one whose soul is lost

could you make me pure
or would you taint me more?

light

shaking my hand reaches up...touching your skin gently... i want more than anything to calm the fire within you...
your touch calms yet excites me...all firing cells could be firing within me yet you..you can touch me-making me feel beyond that of comfort...

my eyes close gently as i feel your warmth wrapping around me....I know i am safe..that i am fully loved...

this love warms me and reassures me everyday that i am wanted...no longer am i completely lost .. you ahve given me the path and light ot follow...i thank you ...

my love you are the one who will save me ... thank you...

what you want

looking into the reflection i wonder...i wonder if it truly is the light that i see....yet looking above me i see the light...it is beautifully frightening...reaching into the flame...

transmogrify my soul into the creature that waits patiently...feet hitting the ground full force...running...freedom....happiness lived briefly... corralled...forced...antsy

a gentle hand leads me...touching my neck oh so gently...leading me into the comfort of his arms...

this is what i need this is what i want..freedom yet the constraints of a loving master...someone who allow my freedom my control....yet leading me sternly on to the light...