Wow, Today has been an interesting day, I've tried to feel better but unfortunately I have not been able to pick my self up. But between feeling ill and the words that were spoken at Confession-I'm not unhappy but I feel off. I spoke of the decisions I had to make when my mother passed. I'm not for sure if I can forgive myself for the decisions I made during that time. My heart still breaks when I think of her. I ask God to forgive me for that choice. But what was I to do-it was so hard! One moment my mother was there and then only a shell of her remained. I know she did not want to live that way but-but why must a child make such decisions! I feared for so long my sister hated me for those decisions. I know the doctor said that she was brain dead that she was gone it was just the body-I prayed for a miracle. I prayed so hard to not have to loose her. But I had to make the decision. So I feel that it is my fault for my mother's passing. I haven't told anyone this. Perhaps its because Mother's Day is coming up so soon. But I feel-I miss her greatly. I know she is with the Lord. Probably shushing me for feeling the way I am. That is my mom. But yet I still ache. Lord help mend this broken heart,
This was one of the songs that my mom sang to me and I sang to my sister.
Now Onto the day-
After gaining some downtime I decided to break bad and NOT be afraid of Scarlet who is a friend of ours snake. She is a Milk Snake. She is really sweet. And I have agreed for one to be allowed in the home as long as it is properly cared for and maintained...and I mean held in cage properly! They can escape.
SO heres me holding her and Jasmine enjoying her time with Athena.
My child, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.