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A girl who doesn't mind being a nerd. I know things that most people my age would go HUH? why ya know that? and my answer is Boredom and the ability to read and research :) I love learning new things and meeting new people so if you don't mind books..I can be an open book on some subjects but others are rare finds so it takes time to get to those subjects.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Wow...Thursday .....I've lost it.

Wow, Today has been an interesting day, I've tried to feel better but unfortunately I have not been able to pick my self up. But between feeling ill and the words that were spoken at Confession-I'm not unhappy but I feel off.  I spoke of the decisions I had to make when my mother passed. I'm not for sure if I can forgive myself for the decisions I made during that time.  My heart still breaks when I think of her. I ask God to forgive me for that choice. But what was I to do-it was so hard! One moment my mother was there and then only a shell of her remained. I know she did not want to  live that way but-but why must a child make such decisions! I feared for so long my sister hated me for those decisions. I know the doctor said that she was brain dead that she was gone it was just the body-I prayed for a miracle. I prayed so hard to not have to loose her. But I had to make the decision. So I feel that it is my fault for my mother's passing. I haven't told anyone this. Perhaps its because Mother's Day is coming up so soon. But I feel-I miss her greatly. I know she is with the Lord. Probably shushing me for feeling the way I am. That is my mom. But yet I still ache. Lord help  mend this broken heart,

This was one of the songs that my mom sang to me and I sang to my sister. 

Now Onto the day-

After gaining some downtime I decided to break bad and NOT be afraid of Scarlet who is a friend of ours snake. She is a Milk Snake. She is really sweet. And I have agreed for one to be allowed in the home as long as it is properly cared for and maintained...and I mean held in cage properly! They can escape.
SO heres me holding her and Jasmine enjoying her time with Athena. 

Proverbs 4:20-22

My child, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.

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